Walking in obedience to the spirit not the flesh - a short personal reflection
These days I am learning to catch myself when I am emo. And just choosing to respond
obediently to the way Jesus would want me to respond, not the way I feel like responding.
Especially with regards to my Mum, I can feel there is a growth and change recently... good changes. And I am gonna trust that things will keep getting better and better btw us.
Even if another situation btw us takes place, I will reject it in Christ and focus on constructive reactions rather than destructive ones. It is not easy, but in Christ it is easier.
In the flesh I just want to holler, to scream, to get really mad. Wow I tell you I become Incredible Hulk-ess in the past whenever my Mum pushed my buttons. These days, I walk away and scream inside of me and let Jesus pat me on the back and say, Let me take over. And I let the Holy Spirit take control of what I do and say. Maybe still at 90% ... I am growing constantly so lol... but I see the difference when I let go and when I try to fight for the steering wheel with Him.
You know I feel it is easier when you look at the mountains in your life from God's POV rather than your own as you stand at the base of the mountains. So I choose to see my Mum from His POV rather than my own. She becomes much more loveable. =)
Coz you can imagine how He watched them as babies, toddlers, their funny antics... watched them get hurt along the way, see their angsty teenage years, witness them forming their stubborn shell, feel His desire to draw them closer to Him so He can tell them "It's alright. It's not your fault. It's not your burden to bear."
Then suddenly, "that bitch, that bastard, those awful lot of people" (pardon the colloquail speak... just making it relevant to some people. I try not to address people like that anymore haha) are just like little kids who are growing, still learning how to walk, still stumbling and still needing Jesus's love and grace.
They no longer seem like those spiteful adults anymore.
You know what I mean?
Be it our parents, a sibling, a peer, an enemy.... when U reduce it to God's love... suddenly it all seems clearer, and grace comes easier
But you need to step out of your shoes, your perspective first... that is the first step and sometimes the hardest, esp when you are an emotional person.
It's like that song title "I surrender all". When you surrender, it is harder at first but it gets easier. Grudge bearing is easy at first... easy on the mouth, but it gets harder on the heart.
On a side note -
Starting to read this book by Andrew Wommack and loving it. Feel there are similarities btw what he shares and what Charles Capps shares.
Angie just passed it to me and got herself a copy. It is on loan to me from Jeff- thanks brother, what a read! BTW, it was Kae's bedtime reading for tonight - half of chapt 1. Little one was so fed, he was quite awake hahaha (I feel the Word has that effect on me too. Flesh wise feel so exhausted but the Word of Christos is better than Red Bull and Milo... i dun drink kopi haha... and I feel so awake. So Angie, that is the secret to how Geri sleeps little but feels so awake! Then after that I rest as I meditate on in and zzz peacefully. =D) but eventually, pat-pat him to lala land as I read. Had our church's music cd (Still Waters i think?) playing in the background. I fell asleep too then woke up, recharged to read more and ponder more. Divine appointment coz my dear sis was online and shared with her some Osteen/Womack stuff with her as she felt discouraged.
I digress.
Back to the book... I really recommend the book Jeff loaned me. And it is not a difficult read... but the substance inside is eye-opening, soul-uplifting, spirit-enlightening stuff man. Good food. =) So dun worry if you are the sort who does not really like to read.
The title? *drum roll*
"You've Already Got It- so quit trying to get it"
Hahaha - cool right?
And the picture on the cover is that of a doggy chasing its tail!
Love how a picture speaks a thousand words.
I hope GOD looks down at me and doesn't see me chasing my own tail. If He does, I am sure He has a smile as He waits for me to stop chasing it, calm down and wag my cute little tail. My Master, my Abba Daddy God loves me and is so tender, so patient, so loving that it inspires me to try to exercise a similar patience, TLC with Kae.
Some days I dun feel like. I feel so frustrated esp when he messes the house or, like recently, lost his pencil case (how is that possible?!?!?). But when I see his sad goo goo eyes welling up with tears, I feel the guilt and condemnation he might feel, and accessing it is genuine repentance not "crocodile tears" I am quick to sayang, forgive and hug.
Ah... parenting.
Daddy God, it is not that easy huh? I've only got one kid to parent, and you have the rest of us. =) You are truly AMAZING GRACE personified. Amen!
obediently to the way Jesus would want me to respond, not the way I feel like responding.
Especially with regards to my Mum, I can feel there is a growth and change recently... good changes. And I am gonna trust that things will keep getting better and better btw us.
Even if another situation btw us takes place, I will reject it in Christ and focus on constructive reactions rather than destructive ones. It is not easy, but in Christ it is easier.
In the flesh I just want to holler, to scream, to get really mad. Wow I tell you I become Incredible Hulk-ess in the past whenever my Mum pushed my buttons. These days, I walk away and scream inside of me and let Jesus pat me on the back and say, Let me take over. And I let the Holy Spirit take control of what I do and say. Maybe still at 90% ... I am growing constantly so lol... but I see the difference when I let go and when I try to fight for the steering wheel with Him.
You know I feel it is easier when you look at the mountains in your life from God's POV rather than your own as you stand at the base of the mountains. So I choose to see my Mum from His POV rather than my own. She becomes much more loveable. =)
Coz you can imagine how He watched them as babies, toddlers, their funny antics... watched them get hurt along the way, see their angsty teenage years, witness them forming their stubborn shell, feel His desire to draw them closer to Him so He can tell them "It's alright. It's not your fault. It's not your burden to bear."
Then suddenly, "that bitch, that bastard, those awful lot of people" (pardon the colloquail speak... just making it relevant to some people. I try not to address people like that anymore haha) are just like little kids who are growing, still learning how to walk, still stumbling and still needing Jesus's love and grace.
They no longer seem like those spiteful adults anymore.
You know what I mean?
Be it our parents, a sibling, a peer, an enemy.... when U reduce it to God's love... suddenly it all seems clearer, and grace comes easier
But you need to step out of your shoes, your perspective first... that is the first step and sometimes the hardest, esp when you are an emotional person.
It's like that song title "I surrender all". When you surrender, it is harder at first but it gets easier. Grudge bearing is easy at first... easy on the mouth, but it gets harder on the heart.
On a side note -
Starting to read this book by Andrew Wommack and loving it. Feel there are similarities btw what he shares and what Charles Capps shares.
Angie just passed it to me and got herself a copy. It is on loan to me from Jeff- thanks brother, what a read! BTW, it was Kae's bedtime reading for tonight - half of chapt 1. Little one was so fed, he was quite awake hahaha (I feel the Word has that effect on me too. Flesh wise feel so exhausted but the Word of Christos is better than Red Bull and Milo... i dun drink kopi haha... and I feel so awake. So Angie, that is the secret to how Geri sleeps little but feels so awake! Then after that I rest as I meditate on in and zzz peacefully. =D) but eventually, pat-pat him to lala land as I read. Had our church's music cd (Still Waters i think?) playing in the background. I fell asleep too then woke up, recharged to read more and ponder more. Divine appointment coz my dear sis was online and shared with her some Osteen/Womack stuff with her as she felt discouraged.
I digress.
Back to the book... I really recommend the book Jeff loaned me. And it is not a difficult read... but the substance inside is eye-opening, soul-uplifting, spirit-enlightening stuff man. Good food. =) So dun worry if you are the sort who does not really like to read.
The title? *drum roll*
"You've Already Got It- so quit trying to get it"
Hahaha - cool right?
And the picture on the cover is that of a doggy chasing its tail!
Love how a picture speaks a thousand words.
I hope GOD looks down at me and doesn't see me chasing my own tail. If He does, I am sure He has a smile as He waits for me to stop chasing it, calm down and wag my cute little tail. My Master, my Abba Daddy God loves me and is so tender, so patient, so loving that it inspires me to try to exercise a similar patience, TLC with Kae.
Some days I dun feel like. I feel so frustrated esp when he messes the house or, like recently, lost his pencil case (how is that possible?!?!?). But when I see his sad goo goo eyes welling up with tears, I feel the guilt and condemnation he might feel, and accessing it is genuine repentance not "crocodile tears" I am quick to sayang, forgive and hug.
Ah... parenting.
Daddy God, it is not that easy huh? I've only got one kid to parent, and you have the rest of us. =) You are truly AMAZING GRACE personified. Amen!
Beloved,
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Peggy