I will not trust my arm of flesh, upon Your Word I stand

As a believer, I find one of the challenges I used to face is that of learning to trust Daddy God and what He can do supernaturally, and not so much what I can bring to the table base on my own strength. I worry less these days, but there are times when the good old panic rises a little bit before I quell it with a simple spoken Word- His Word, not mine.

When finances dip low, Wee (pardon the pun) do the natural - I write scripts, Ian does his work, Kaelen does his best in school, we go on holidays, we worship and we believe - and we trust that He will do the supernatural. And you know what? He has never failed to pull us through. Never, not once, has he failed us.

But it was not always like that. I remember times we used to worry, and I am sure we were not alone.

How many of us still tend of panic?

When we panic, we start to play the blame game.

How long, LORD?

Why not yet, LORD?

When will this end, LORD?

We hold Him accountable to our concept of time, our perception of a solution, instead of giving Him the freedom (for He had given us the gift of free will to decide if we will control the steering wheel, or allow Him to steer) to free us from the things that bind us in His perfect time, in His perfect way.

The bible says His blessings bring with them NO SORROW.
And it is true.

Here's an example from my life-

When I found out I was pregnant out of wedlock, I felt scared.

The devil immediately used my fear against me, playing the cards of guilt, condemnation and anxiety. These then led me to think stupid thoughts like abortion, suicide... thoughts of hopelessness.

I did not once stop to think that my Daddy God was mighty to save; that He could take this situation that meant to stumble me and turn it into an amazing blessing. Even though my friend's mum tried to calm me down, all I said was "I have no choice."

Of course I did, but I refused to acknowledge that there was an option other than fear.

I had blinders on. I couldn't see anything else but doom. I was like a spooked horse, running from what I could not see but feared regardless.

It was only when He made me stop to think that I realised what I had was a life in me- Not an object, not an obstacle.

And when I saw Kaelen - that adorable bump on the wall of my womb- I fell into grace.

I fell into the arms of grace, into the arms of His unconditional love.

And I knew, in me, was a seed that could blossom into a beautiful blessing. Even though I was afraid, He had planted a hope in me and an understanding of His love for me.

And today, I look at Kae and shudder to think of what could have happened had I trusted my arm of flesh to pluck that seed out from my heart soil, my womb. I would have lost more than myself.

Today, when I sing the praise and worship song in Church, I truly understand what it means-
"I will not trust my arm of flesh, upon Your Word I stand."

His Word promises that His blessings will bring with them no sorrow; His Word promises that He knows His plans for me and He has declared them to be plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. And His Word also promises that they will never return to Him void.

Indeed, upon His Word- not my word, not my feelings, not my strength- I stand; for it is the ONLY unfailing love and unwavering promise that I can rely on yesterday, today and forever.