A collection of pictures of my soul through the years
"Grace is the light, our loving heart is the film, Jesus is the person who fills the lens of our soul, and soon a heavenly photograph of his character is produced." - Charles H Spurgeon
As a baby Christian of what is coming to 5 years (I do not consider my RC days as being saved or being Christian), I have looked back at the photographs of my soul over the years captured in old blogs, old memories and literally old photos, and feel surprised how far things have changed from those days.
In the past, I would say I was darker, gloomier, more fatalistic, falling apart at the seams half the time. I cussed. I swore. I stole. I was lost. I disobeyed. I hated. I angered. I gave up. I grumbled. I chose always to see the negative spaces in life and not the positive ones. I was using some cheap ISO 50 film then - less sensitive to the Light. I had to be in the light to capture anything at all. The moment I stepped out of it into darkness, the photo would just be an inky blackness- Like my heart and my soul. I was being gummed to death by the devil then.
Over the years, having gradually upgraded the ISO of the film stock in my heart, the photos are coming out brighter, richer, happier. Even in the dark, the photos capture the light. It is an expensive film stock given to me as a gift, purchased by the blood of Christ and nothing else... and it makes a heaven lot of difference.
I'd describe today (and perhaps the whole of last month) as being one of them darker days, and despite the darkness surrounding me and threatening to encroach my heart, the light within and around shines through - defiant, strong and beautiful... it is not my light. I merely borrow it - it is His Light... the Light of His glory. The Light that guides my way in the wilderness and fallen earth.
For who am I but a sinner and a lousy soul photographer? It is all Him; and all goodness that is in me comes from His goodness and His blood. I dare not claim any credit for being good, knowing what I used to be like in the past =)
No one is perfect and anyone human who claims to be perfect must be a liar - and not a very good one at that, for we all have histories, but praise God that in Him we have TOMORROWS THAT ARE ALWAYS GETTING BRIGHTER AND BRIGHTER! AMEN!
I turn my back away from the darkness to walk facing His light... basking in its warm, comforting glow instead of walking deeper into the black turmoil outside - a cacophony of lies and deceit.
A German quote says "Tell not all you know; believe not all you hear."
How true.
Unless we hold a statement/deed up to the light, we do not know if what we hear is the truth or a lie... and we can tell the world the truth, and it will continue to seem too good to be true and fake because of the lens they choose to view the truth too. Until we stop being stubborn and change our lens, our film stock ... our soul photos remain murky or dark.
For me, I am just content with the worldly little that I have which is soul much - the friends who have a better opinion than I do of myself, the family that i treasure being a part of, my precocious 6 year old and my husband whom I can pray with, believe with and share this journey with. Politics is not my game and I choose to spend time with the people I love than to spend time hobnobbing or hanging out with people who think they are cool.
"This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Even though the devil tries to blow it out, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine." =D
As a baby Christian of what is coming to 5 years (I do not consider my RC days as being saved or being Christian), I have looked back at the photographs of my soul over the years captured in old blogs, old memories and literally old photos, and feel surprised how far things have changed from those days.
In the past, I would say I was darker, gloomier, more fatalistic, falling apart at the seams half the time. I cussed. I swore. I stole. I was lost. I disobeyed. I hated. I angered. I gave up. I grumbled. I chose always to see the negative spaces in life and not the positive ones. I was using some cheap ISO 50 film then - less sensitive to the Light. I had to be in the light to capture anything at all. The moment I stepped out of it into darkness, the photo would just be an inky blackness- Like my heart and my soul. I was being gummed to death by the devil then.
Over the years, having gradually upgraded the ISO of the film stock in my heart, the photos are coming out brighter, richer, happier. Even in the dark, the photos capture the light. It is an expensive film stock given to me as a gift, purchased by the blood of Christ and nothing else... and it makes a heaven lot of difference.
I'd describe today (and perhaps the whole of last month) as being one of them darker days, and despite the darkness surrounding me and threatening to encroach my heart, the light within and around shines through - defiant, strong and beautiful... it is not my light. I merely borrow it - it is His Light... the Light of His glory. The Light that guides my way in the wilderness and fallen earth.
For who am I but a sinner and a lousy soul photographer? It is all Him; and all goodness that is in me comes from His goodness and His blood. I dare not claim any credit for being good, knowing what I used to be like in the past =)
No one is perfect and anyone human who claims to be perfect must be a liar - and not a very good one at that, for we all have histories, but praise God that in Him we have TOMORROWS THAT ARE ALWAYS GETTING BRIGHTER AND BRIGHTER! AMEN!
I turn my back away from the darkness to walk facing His light... basking in its warm, comforting glow instead of walking deeper into the black turmoil outside - a cacophony of lies and deceit.
A German quote says "Tell not all you know; believe not all you hear."
How true.
Unless we hold a statement/deed up to the light, we do not know if what we hear is the truth or a lie... and we can tell the world the truth, and it will continue to seem too good to be true and fake because of the lens they choose to view the truth too. Until we stop being stubborn and change our lens, our film stock ... our soul photos remain murky or dark.
For me, I am just content with the worldly little that I have which is soul much - the friends who have a better opinion than I do of myself, the family that i treasure being a part of, my precocious 6 year old and my husband whom I can pray with, believe with and share this journey with. Politics is not my game and I choose to spend time with the people I love than to spend time hobnobbing or hanging out with people who think they are cool.
"This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Even though the devil tries to blow it out, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine." =D
Who's opinion matters but His? The one with the good SLR and quality ISO 400 (can I add more zeros?) film that's gonna last forever and ever and ever.
ReplyDeleteIt is strange, yet really remarkable, how God is taking such wonderful pictures of us individually (for His keeps) while we capture such poor quality ones. Praise Jesus for the Gospel that our lives are so illuminated only because of His ISO!!
Some people hold on to their very own pictures to their deaths, sometimes comparing it with our imperfect ones, and never saw it all a better way... and that's sad.
Tagline: Jesus film works! Jesus film is good for me and you!