A beary lovely weekend & Kae's battlefield of the mind
This is a pretty long post, but very meaningful things happened during this weekend, so I hope you will read on.
This weekend was hard for us. It signalled the end of the June Holidays - which meant that Kae would return back to Rio Vista and be there from Mon to Fri.
Party Time
On Saturday, we headed to Ta Chi's place for my nieces' birthday party. Anna is 3 (so fast!) and little Clarissa has turned 1. =) The party went on fine - Kae had fun playing with his cousins and Ta Chi's friends' kids. Isaiah was a real cutie - such a cheerful and handsome little boy! Ian took a short nap in the guest room (tired out by work). I meandered along... watching the kids have fun, reading my book and spending some time encouraging Ian along the weekend (he had work to do this weekend which dampened his mood).
2 people were very dearly missed at the party though - Kae's Grandma and Grandpa Bear.
Apparently, Dad's foot and knee were acting up again... Ian and I decided to bring some of the leftover food from the party plus some cake (very adorable 3D bear shaped cake!! It looked a bit gruesome when Ta Chi started cutting it up for the guests though - think a scene from Hannibal!) and head over to Ivory Heights to spend some time with them, and to bring some cheer to Dad.
ACTING UP
Kae was generally well-behaved... then he" acted up" just before we left for Jurong. I guess he was tired and thus, cranky. He said he was thirsty and so we poured water for him. He then refused to drink it, saying he wanted fruit punch. I was not keen on giving him that because it was quite sweet (and sugar = hyper) , so I told him that there wasn't any left. I didn't mind him having some fruit juice, and we told him that we would get him juice that he liked at the supermarket later on. Ian also offered him the option to have some fresh milk instead, but Kae just sulked in the kitchen. Finally, we decided if he wasn't keen on drinking at all, we would not force him and we prepared to leave... After Ivory Heights, there were plans to catch a movie at GV (The Incredible Hulk)... Right about then, Kae shouted out in an indignant tone "But I want to drink the milk!" It was exasperating because he did not say he wanted milk, and then when he did, he made it sound like we didn't want him to have milk - which we were more than willing to pour out for him. Sighs.
After he finished up his milk, we walked out to the main road to grab a cab. As we walked, I asked Kae what drink he would like during the movie. We had coupons for free popcorn and drinks. He said Ice Milo. Knowing very well that popcorn stands at GV do not have the drink he specified, I asked him for an alternative. He said "Then you have to buy me 3 toys!" I was truly a pissed off Mum by then. =p I told him that unless he apologised for his unreasonable and rude behaviour, the movie was off, even though we were all keen on catching it (esp Ian who might have a busy week ahead).
In the cab, Kae sulked and added coals to the fire by insisting that we should go for the movie. He said he had not said anything wrong. I recapped his words for him. He then looked puzzled and said he didn't say them. He also started to shout and I flicked my finger at his cheek to tell him to watch his mouth. He got angry and pushed my arm... which made me "seal" my conviction that the movie was off till he apologised sincerely. When we arrived at Ivory Heights, Ian headed upstairs first with the makan as I wanted Kae to cool his hot little head off before meeting up with his grandparents.
A WALK TO REMEMBER
We took a walk in the little park in the compound for a heart-to-heart. I told Kae that he had been rude and had said hurtful words in his fit of anger. Sometimes when we are angry we forget we have said mean things. I told him that we had tried to accomodate his requests but he had been nothing but unreasonable throughout the way which had hurt our feelings. I told him that we had to scold him because if we allowed such behaviour unchecked, it would do him no good in the long run. I reminded him that when we punish him, it is out of love. I told him I only wanted him to say sorry when he was ready to apologise from his heart after reflecting on his behaviour.
We walked quietly along, then found a bench to sit down upon. I told him then that "sorry" is not an easy word to say, it means putting pride aside and finding humility to admit you are wrong... but it is a healing word that helps to heal a wound he had made. Saying more angry words would add salt to the wound - I told him salt hurts the wound even more, it stings like a bee.
Kae thought for a while, then said to me, "I want to say it. I feel that I want to say it in my heart but I can't say it out. I don't know why. I am trying my best."
I felt my tears well up. Did my little boy have too much pride and ego to apologise? A part of me also felt that even at age 6, the enemy can attack our little ones and give them obstacles to cross. This could be a tripping stone or a stepping stone... it was Kae's little battlefield of the mind. I waited for the results of the battle waging inside of him, and I prayed that he would find strength to overcome.
He looked exasperated as he tried. He made a few false starts and then sighed. He hit at his hips a little with his tiny fists, a determined look on his face. Then a look of relief broke over his face and he said in a tiny, but confident, and sincere voice - "Mummy, I am sorry."
I hugged him tight and he hugged back equally tight and planted a kiss on my forehead. He had triumphed (through Christ no less!).
SECOND ATTEMPT TO TRIP HIM UP
Just as we were ready to go, a little boy of 8 came up to ask if Kae wanted to play ball with him. I allowed Kae and watched them have fun. They took turns playing with the ball. The boy's sister came downstairs to play too. She was 7. As they played, the boy was not keen to share with his sister, but Kae shared his turn with her.
At one point, the older boy started to jump up and tug hard on a stalk from the palm tree nearby. His maid tried to stop him but he waved her away. He pulled hard and if not mistaken, he snapped the stem a little. He called out to Kae "Come and help me! This is fun. We can break this together." Kae looked at what he was doing and as he walked over, I wondered what he would choose to do. Would he join in? Kaelen walked over to the older boy and shook his head before telling the boy off. "That is wrong," he said, "You are destroying the plant. You should not do that. You are killing the plant."
I felt very happy that Kae did not join in, that he stood his ground when it came to his belief of what's right and what's wrong. He did not let the idea that something wrong could be fun tempt him. Round 2 of the battlefield of the mind- Kae triumphed in Christ again. =D Yay!
We said goodbye to the kids, and the girl kept asking Kae to come for her birthday party, but she had no idea when it was at all. We waved to them one last time, and went upstairs to see Dad and Mum.
SPENDING TIME WITH HIS GRANDPA AND GRANDMA BEAR
Upon arrival, Kae went to apologise to Ian straightaway, and spent time in the room with the "men" who were fiddling around with the computer again. I went outside to spend time with Mum. We had a good chat and I really enjoyed Mum's presence. She is a very gentle and wise lady.
At one point, Kae came out to ask for a drink of milk again. I poured him a cup and he then watched Mum re-pot her plant as he drank. They also spoke about gardening for a little bit.
Kae also had a chat with Dad on the Cosmos. Dad is very well-read and Kae's been doing his fair share of reading, so they asked each other questions on the Universe, the planets, stars, etc to see who knew more. It's great because I felt there was some bonding going on. Kae has never really got to spend a lot of time with Ian's parents - seeing them off and on throughout the last few years.
Kae was really excited as he spoke to his grandpa about the Cosmos and it was a great sharing, both were very keen on continuing the chat, and Mum had to remind Dad & Kae that we had to be on our way for the show, before they stopped. =D
Kae gave them hugs and we went off for the movie at Vivocity after an enjoyable 2+ hours at Ivory Heights.
AT THE CINEMA
Bad news loomed ahead - the show at 8+ was sold out. When I revealed the news to Kae, the boy was so disappointed, his face melted into tears. He had really looked forward to the movie. We decided to make an exception this time, and watched the later screening at around 10+. Praise God that we got one of the last few tickets.
Kae had read the short novel for Hulk in preparation for the movie. His eyes shone as he watched the familiar scenes come to live and we both felt glad just watching him enjoy himself so much.
The movie was really good and Kae slept on the way home without a struggle.
So Saturday ended quietly, with lots of things to think about and praise God for. .. Especially when we got home to find a very sweet surprise waiting for us - Mum had bought us a special cushion that has a back rest from Takashimaya. It cost her $69 but was a priceless gesture of love to us. She had opened it and placed it before our computer table and went off. She had done it in secret and we appreciated it plenty.
-----------
Sunday was an even quieter affair.
We slept in late and then had to rush to get to church. Ian helped out with Kae, whilst I headed to NTUC Fairprice to buy Charm and ourselves bottles of Olive Oil.
Olive
Our Pastor was going to pray over our Olive Oil along with us - so that we can use the Oil for annointing. It is crucial to note that not a hint of superstition is involved in this. It is scriptural and biblical and definitely New Testament. To be honest, I did extra readings and bible studies on my own to make sure that we go into this with the right understanding and truly in faith.
Oil represents the Holy Spirit. When you annoint something with oil, you are acting in faith that the Holy Spirit has come upon it to bless it. It is not for luck or a talisman. It has to be done in faith with a prayer of faith and the right heart - knowing that we are actively and spiritually submitting to Christ the issue or whatever it is at hand.
Olive Oil is significant. It is the green oil of the scriptures. Green here represents "new" and symbolizes a renewal, and can also represent youth.
Olive Oil is also a picture of Christ. Like Grain and Wine (that represents the broken body and shed blood of Christ), olive oil is crushed before the richness and goodness of the olive will flow out.
Pastor showed us how Olive Oil is traditionally made in Israel - olive fruits are crushed in a mill. The first crushing brings out Extra Virgin Olive Oil or green oil - this is used biblically for the lightstands in the Temple of God. The second crushing brings out oil that is used for medicinal purposes and the third crushing brings out oil that is used to make soap.
Now if you look carefully, you can see Christ in this...
Christ is the light of the world - He was crushed to bring light to our darkness. (Light)
Christ was crushed when he was bruised and flayed under persecution - so that by His stripes we are healed. (Healing)
Christ was crushed on the Cross so that our sins, once scarlet, are now white as snow. He cleanses us from our sins. (Soap)
As Ian and I lifted up our Olive Oil in prayer -we thanked God that Christ has come into our lives, into our hearts... that although we were once lost, we have been found. We thanked God for the wisdom He has imparted to us... to even little Kaelen. We thanked Christ that He had allowed Himself to be crushed and broken, so that we might be made whole again.
SUNDAY COMES TO A CLOSE
The June Holidays ended quietly - Kae finished Children's Church; Ian hugged him after picking him up from Children's Church before he had to go for a meeting (Ian delayed going for the meeting because saying goodbye to Kae first was important - and I appreciated that a lot). Kae and I had a bite with Charm and Ling Hooi (who kindly helped us with Kae's barang barang bag for a bit, till we got on the express bus home).
On the way back to Hougang by bus, Kae turned to me and said "I miss you Mummy. The weekend is only 2 days and the rest of the week is so long, 5 days!"
Yes - the 5 days take so long to pass by, and the 2 days go by too quickly. I hugged him and told him to bear with it, soon it will be 2009 and he will be living with us everyday. He found cheer in that and nodded.
So I left him at Rio Vista yesterday night, and now our house feels so quiet and empty without him around. Kinda in tears as I sit here missing him. Ian said that he misses Kae's exuberance and cheerful spirit too.
I miss the little one's hugs and kisses, and his occassional calling out of "I love you Mummy!" (even when he is going potty in the toilet Lol) ... and I look very very much forward to Friday's coming round again.
I love you Kae and I am very proud of you, my beloved little son.
This weekend was hard for us. It signalled the end of the June Holidays - which meant that Kae would return back to Rio Vista and be there from Mon to Fri.
Party Time
On Saturday, we headed to Ta Chi's place for my nieces' birthday party. Anna is 3 (so fast!) and little Clarissa has turned 1. =) The party went on fine - Kae had fun playing with his cousins and Ta Chi's friends' kids. Isaiah was a real cutie - such a cheerful and handsome little boy! Ian took a short nap in the guest room (tired out by work). I meandered along... watching the kids have fun, reading my book and spending some time encouraging Ian along the weekend (he had work to do this weekend which dampened his mood).
2 people were very dearly missed at the party though - Kae's Grandma and Grandpa Bear.
Apparently, Dad's foot and knee were acting up again... Ian and I decided to bring some of the leftover food from the party plus some cake (very adorable 3D bear shaped cake!! It looked a bit gruesome when Ta Chi started cutting it up for the guests though - think a scene from Hannibal!) and head over to Ivory Heights to spend some time with them, and to bring some cheer to Dad.
ACTING UP
Kae was generally well-behaved... then he" acted up" just before we left for Jurong. I guess he was tired and thus, cranky. He said he was thirsty and so we poured water for him. He then refused to drink it, saying he wanted fruit punch. I was not keen on giving him that because it was quite sweet (and sugar = hyper) , so I told him that there wasn't any left. I didn't mind him having some fruit juice, and we told him that we would get him juice that he liked at the supermarket later on. Ian also offered him the option to have some fresh milk instead, but Kae just sulked in the kitchen. Finally, we decided if he wasn't keen on drinking at all, we would not force him and we prepared to leave... After Ivory Heights, there were plans to catch a movie at GV (The Incredible Hulk)... Right about then, Kae shouted out in an indignant tone "But I want to drink the milk!" It was exasperating because he did not say he wanted milk, and then when he did, he made it sound like we didn't want him to have milk - which we were more than willing to pour out for him. Sighs.
After he finished up his milk, we walked out to the main road to grab a cab. As we walked, I asked Kae what drink he would like during the movie. We had coupons for free popcorn and drinks. He said Ice Milo. Knowing very well that popcorn stands at GV do not have the drink he specified, I asked him for an alternative. He said "Then you have to buy me 3 toys!" I was truly a pissed off Mum by then. =p I told him that unless he apologised for his unreasonable and rude behaviour, the movie was off, even though we were all keen on catching it (esp Ian who might have a busy week ahead).
In the cab, Kae sulked and added coals to the fire by insisting that we should go for the movie. He said he had not said anything wrong. I recapped his words for him. He then looked puzzled and said he didn't say them. He also started to shout and I flicked my finger at his cheek to tell him to watch his mouth. He got angry and pushed my arm... which made me "seal" my conviction that the movie was off till he apologised sincerely. When we arrived at Ivory Heights, Ian headed upstairs first with the makan as I wanted Kae to cool his hot little head off before meeting up with his grandparents.
A WALK TO REMEMBER
We took a walk in the little park in the compound for a heart-to-heart. I told Kae that he had been rude and had said hurtful words in his fit of anger. Sometimes when we are angry we forget we have said mean things. I told him that we had tried to accomodate his requests but he had been nothing but unreasonable throughout the way which had hurt our feelings. I told him that we had to scold him because if we allowed such behaviour unchecked, it would do him no good in the long run. I reminded him that when we punish him, it is out of love. I told him I only wanted him to say sorry when he was ready to apologise from his heart after reflecting on his behaviour.
We walked quietly along, then found a bench to sit down upon. I told him then that "sorry" is not an easy word to say, it means putting pride aside and finding humility to admit you are wrong... but it is a healing word that helps to heal a wound he had made. Saying more angry words would add salt to the wound - I told him salt hurts the wound even more, it stings like a bee.
Kae thought for a while, then said to me, "I want to say it. I feel that I want to say it in my heart but I can't say it out. I don't know why. I am trying my best."
I felt my tears well up. Did my little boy have too much pride and ego to apologise? A part of me also felt that even at age 6, the enemy can attack our little ones and give them obstacles to cross. This could be a tripping stone or a stepping stone... it was Kae's little battlefield of the mind. I waited for the results of the battle waging inside of him, and I prayed that he would find strength to overcome.
He looked exasperated as he tried. He made a few false starts and then sighed. He hit at his hips a little with his tiny fists, a determined look on his face. Then a look of relief broke over his face and he said in a tiny, but confident, and sincere voice - "Mummy, I am sorry."
I hugged him tight and he hugged back equally tight and planted a kiss on my forehead. He had triumphed (through Christ no less!).
SECOND ATTEMPT TO TRIP HIM UP
Just as we were ready to go, a little boy of 8 came up to ask if Kae wanted to play ball with him. I allowed Kae and watched them have fun. They took turns playing with the ball. The boy's sister came downstairs to play too. She was 7. As they played, the boy was not keen to share with his sister, but Kae shared his turn with her.
At one point, the older boy started to jump up and tug hard on a stalk from the palm tree nearby. His maid tried to stop him but he waved her away. He pulled hard and if not mistaken, he snapped the stem a little. He called out to Kae "Come and help me! This is fun. We can break this together." Kae looked at what he was doing and as he walked over, I wondered what he would choose to do. Would he join in? Kaelen walked over to the older boy and shook his head before telling the boy off. "That is wrong," he said, "You are destroying the plant. You should not do that. You are killing the plant."
I felt very happy that Kae did not join in, that he stood his ground when it came to his belief of what's right and what's wrong. He did not let the idea that something wrong could be fun tempt him. Round 2 of the battlefield of the mind- Kae triumphed in Christ again. =D Yay!
We said goodbye to the kids, and the girl kept asking Kae to come for her birthday party, but she had no idea when it was at all. We waved to them one last time, and went upstairs to see Dad and Mum.
SPENDING TIME WITH HIS GRANDPA AND GRANDMA BEAR
Upon arrival, Kae went to apologise to Ian straightaway, and spent time in the room with the "men" who were fiddling around with the computer again. I went outside to spend time with Mum. We had a good chat and I really enjoyed Mum's presence. She is a very gentle and wise lady.
At one point, Kae came out to ask for a drink of milk again. I poured him a cup and he then watched Mum re-pot her plant as he drank. They also spoke about gardening for a little bit.
Kae also had a chat with Dad on the Cosmos. Dad is very well-read and Kae's been doing his fair share of reading, so they asked each other questions on the Universe, the planets, stars, etc to see who knew more. It's great because I felt there was some bonding going on. Kae has never really got to spend a lot of time with Ian's parents - seeing them off and on throughout the last few years.
Kae was really excited as he spoke to his grandpa about the Cosmos and it was a great sharing, both were very keen on continuing the chat, and Mum had to remind Dad & Kae that we had to be on our way for the show, before they stopped. =D
Kae gave them hugs and we went off for the movie at Vivocity after an enjoyable 2+ hours at Ivory Heights.
AT THE CINEMA
Bad news loomed ahead - the show at 8+ was sold out. When I revealed the news to Kae, the boy was so disappointed, his face melted into tears. He had really looked forward to the movie. We decided to make an exception this time, and watched the later screening at around 10+. Praise God that we got one of the last few tickets.
Kae had read the short novel for Hulk in preparation for the movie. His eyes shone as he watched the familiar scenes come to live and we both felt glad just watching him enjoy himself so much.
The movie was really good and Kae slept on the way home without a struggle.
So Saturday ended quietly, with lots of things to think about and praise God for. .. Especially when we got home to find a very sweet surprise waiting for us - Mum had bought us a special cushion that has a back rest from Takashimaya. It cost her $69 but was a priceless gesture of love to us. She had opened it and placed it before our computer table and went off. She had done it in secret and we appreciated it plenty.
-----------
Sunday was an even quieter affair.
We slept in late and then had to rush to get to church. Ian helped out with Kae, whilst I headed to NTUC Fairprice to buy Charm and ourselves bottles of Olive Oil.
Olive
Our Pastor was going to pray over our Olive Oil along with us - so that we can use the Oil for annointing. It is crucial to note that not a hint of superstition is involved in this. It is scriptural and biblical and definitely New Testament. To be honest, I did extra readings and bible studies on my own to make sure that we go into this with the right understanding and truly in faith.
Oil represents the Holy Spirit. When you annoint something with oil, you are acting in faith that the Holy Spirit has come upon it to bless it. It is not for luck or a talisman. It has to be done in faith with a prayer of faith and the right heart - knowing that we are actively and spiritually submitting to Christ the issue or whatever it is at hand.
Olive Oil is significant. It is the green oil of the scriptures. Green here represents "new" and symbolizes a renewal, and can also represent youth.
Olive Oil is also a picture of Christ. Like Grain and Wine (that represents the broken body and shed blood of Christ), olive oil is crushed before the richness and goodness of the olive will flow out.
Pastor showed us how Olive Oil is traditionally made in Israel - olive fruits are crushed in a mill. The first crushing brings out Extra Virgin Olive Oil or green oil - this is used biblically for the lightstands in the Temple of God. The second crushing brings out oil that is used for medicinal purposes and the third crushing brings out oil that is used to make soap.
Now if you look carefully, you can see Christ in this...
Christ is the light of the world - He was crushed to bring light to our darkness. (Light)
Christ was crushed when he was bruised and flayed under persecution - so that by His stripes we are healed. (Healing)
Christ was crushed on the Cross so that our sins, once scarlet, are now white as snow. He cleanses us from our sins. (Soap)
As Ian and I lifted up our Olive Oil in prayer -we thanked God that Christ has come into our lives, into our hearts... that although we were once lost, we have been found. We thanked God for the wisdom He has imparted to us... to even little Kaelen. We thanked Christ that He had allowed Himself to be crushed and broken, so that we might be made whole again.
SUNDAY COMES TO A CLOSE
The June Holidays ended quietly - Kae finished Children's Church; Ian hugged him after picking him up from Children's Church before he had to go for a meeting (Ian delayed going for the meeting because saying goodbye to Kae first was important - and I appreciated that a lot). Kae and I had a bite with Charm and Ling Hooi (who kindly helped us with Kae's barang barang bag for a bit, till we got on the express bus home).
On the way back to Hougang by bus, Kae turned to me and said "I miss you Mummy. The weekend is only 2 days and the rest of the week is so long, 5 days!"
Yes - the 5 days take so long to pass by, and the 2 days go by too quickly. I hugged him and told him to bear with it, soon it will be 2009 and he will be living with us everyday. He found cheer in that and nodded.
So I left him at Rio Vista yesterday night, and now our house feels so quiet and empty without him around. Kinda in tears as I sit here missing him. Ian said that he misses Kae's exuberance and cheerful spirit too.
I miss the little one's hugs and kisses, and his occassional calling out of "I love you Mummy!" (even when he is going potty in the toilet Lol) ... and I look very very much forward to Friday's coming round again.
I love you Kae and I am very proud of you, my beloved little son.
Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita...!?...passavo per un saluto!
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