So proud of you, Kae

Okay this is a lengthy post but I hope you will read through to the end. =)

Last night, Kae and I had a long heart-to-heart chat. He had been upset and had shown his displeasure, but i had no idea why he was upset.

After a pretty lengthy bout of huff-ing and crying on his part, i managed to coax the reason out of him- he had come out to the living room earlier in the night to ask for permission to use the computer, but never got round to asking as we were all (dad, mum, my aunt, ian and i) busy listening to the insurance guy explain the various policies ( - we were getting one for Kae) to us. Kae joined in and so we thought he just wanted to spend time with all of us.

By the time we were done with the insurance presentation, it was late at night and time for him to sleep. Kae felt sad because he had not got round to using the computer... Probably felt "cheated" too. So he kept saying he was bored hoping we'd understand what's wrong, but it got the wrong response from us coz we kinda told him off - it was close to 11pm and time for bed... bored or not, it was bed time.

It was mostly a huge misunderstanding on both our parts - he expected us to read his mind and know what was wrong, we thought he was trying to be funny with us and being disobedient. Kae is emotionally sensitive, so he felt affronted that we had misunderstood him. He felt we were in the wrong and we felt he was in the wrong, hence the argument. I told him to dare to ask out loud next time, because we could not anticipate his wants if he didn't voice them out.

We had further chats on his feelings about the allocation of computer time, and I explained that I used the computer for work, and though we know it means much to him to have computer time, that it is paramount that I get work done or it affects lots of other people like my client and their client...

I also told him he is important to me and his feelings too, that I love him a lot and Ian too. I told him we didn't like to let him use the com to much because it is not healthy, that it can be addictive. Told him that sometimes it is hard being a parent because you make a decision out of love based on what is best for your kids, even though it also hurts us esp when he glowers at us in anger 'coz he can't understand why. I explained how even if it means he loves us a little less, we will still make the decision to make sure he is happier and healthier in the long run.

I explained sometimes it means making little sacrifices on our part too and always making sure that we had him in mind. Like when I got him the Ben 10 bed sheet and pillow case or his Ikea blanket, I made sure I chose stuff that he would like and not just some boring bed sheet. When he wanted the Incredible Hulk book I went without dinner to fit in to our budget. I shared how Ian was out there working late because he loves both of us so much, and wants to provide for us to the best of his abilities. I told him we trust and respect him and expect him to reflect back the same trust and respect. I didn't want to be the kind of dun talk just whack sort of mum, so I was trying my best and I need him to try his best to show us some respect and understanding too.

I shared about how it was hard for me when I was expecting him, and I told him how I fell in love with him the day I saw him as a bump on my womb. I loved him from then and decided that I could never do anything that would ever bring him harm.

Around this point, we were both in tears coz it was quite a "Gilmore-ish" Mummy and son moment. It was then that he came over and with a shy smile, he passed me 50 cents from some coins he had clutched too tightly in his li'l hands.

You see Dad had promised to take him out the next day to the machines that vend the toys in plastic bubbles. Dad had passed him $3 worth of coins to hang on to.

"Mummy I want you to have this because I love you."

I was so touched. 50 cents to a kid, is a fortune. It meant one less toy for him. It was his way of sharing a part of his joy.

I gave it back to him, telling him that I wanted him to have it because I love to see him being happy & that his gesture was more than enough.

As we went to the bathroom to wash up and prepare for bedtime, he took out two fifty cent coins this time and said "I still want you to have this money. I want to give it to you for something more useful."

He was determined to share; to play a part in being a member of this precious "bear family" that we are.

It was decided then by him that we would tithe 50 cents and the other 50 cents would go into marketing. He was beaming as he made the decision.

I was so touched by his priceless gesture that I will treasure as one of my most precious memories of his childhood. Last night, I really felt my little boy grow up a bit more last night as he tried in his simply child-like way that he cared for us and that he appreciated our love for him.

He hugged me and kissed me after that, and was most co-operative about bedtime. We agreed that he would get to use the com for an hour after breakfast today and he was really good about it. He used it for an hour and readily returned the com to me promptly. Kae is very good at keeping his word once there is a firm understanding and agreement made before hand.

I am so proud of my son... he is such a wonderful gift from Abba Father.