Day 4: Love Dare
(Extracted from the book, "The Love Dare" by Alex and Stephen Kendrick)
Love thinks. It is not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and dallps asleep mentally. It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.
During courtship, couples can't stop thinking about each other- this shouldn't change after marriage. Sparks of romance should not burn into grey embers. Motivation for thoughtfulness should not wane. If not, one begins to unintentionally ignore the needs of your mate.
Another person has been added into your universe after marriage. If your thinking doesn't mature enough to constantly include this person, you catch yourself being surprised rather than being thoughtful- forgetting anniversaries, not including your spouse during decision making, being self-centred,etc. If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demo love. Thoughtlessness is the a silent enemy to a loving relationship.
Men tend to struggle with thoughtfulness more than women- having laser-like consciousness where they focus only on one thing at a time. Women, on the other hand, are multi-conscious, multi-taskers.
That's why God designed women to complete men- see Gen 2:18. But these differences also create basis for misunderstanding.
Men tend to think in headlines, speak exactly what they mean. They usually are very literal in what they say, and shouldn't be over-analysed. Diff for women however- they tend to think and speak btw the lines, hint.
He's frust because she speaks in riddles, she's frust because she can't understand why he can't put two and two together and get a hint.
If a couple doesn't understand the communication differences, the fallout can lead to endless disagreements.
A woman deeply longs for her husband to be thoughtful- it's key to helping her feel loved. When she speaks a wise man will listen like a detective to discover the unspoken needs and desires her words imply.
A common frustration is that the women expects the man to see what she's implying and gets aggrieved because he can't read her mind. He, on the other hand, feels frust that he's being punished for a crime he didn't know he committee.
Love requires both sides to be thoughtful, to build bridges through the constructive combi of patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teacher you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks.
A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing and mean another. Engage in your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking, filtering words through a grid of truth and kindness.
TODAY'S QUOTE-
Psalm 139:17, 18
TODAY'S DARE-
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there's anything you could do for them.
TODAY'S REFLECTION-
What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?
Just wanted to say thanks for your posts on the Love Dare- it's really great, and really, really helpful. I watched Fireproof this last Sunday evening, and have been reading your blog since- thanks for doing the work of typing this out. It's really appreciated.
ReplyDeleteNo problem =D I am ministered myself as I do this. =D
ReplyDeleteI am glad that God has reached out to you through the posting of the Love Dare. I hope more marriages can be founded on the bedrock of Christ =)