Love Dare: Day 18 LOVE SEEKS TO UNDERST

Love Dare: Day 18

LOVE SEEKS TO UNDERSTAND

We like to find out more about things we like or care about. We delve into it, reading up about it as and when... We try to catch every episode me that drama no telly, we're a walking encyclopedia about the recipes if we love cooking, we know all that needs knowing about when it's about football.

We might know a lot of stuff, we might even be experts. But are we experts about our own spouse?

During courtship we're always digging up more things to know about our mate. We're intrigued and invested. We study our mate because we want to win his or her heart. But when we do, something else happens- the fire to understand him or her better cools off. Maybe because the mystery's been unlocked. Women who initially feel so much admiration and respect for their boyfriend begin to less so after marriage, esp once they realise their Prince Charming's no Mr. Perfect but merely Average Guy.
There are still new things to discover about our mate- A hidden talent, a secret dream, a forgotten ambition, a gem me a character quality. Understanding our significant other better might bring about favour in their eyes. Prov 13:15 even tells us- Good understanding produces favour.

It can be put this way- supposedly what we know about our spouse now translates to a PSLE cert. There's still the O'levels, A'levels, Degree, Masters, Doctorate. In fact it is a lifelong journey of discovery! It shouldn't stop along with courtship. Do you understand their love language? Do you know what they fear and struggle with?

Sometimes problems develop between our mates and us because of a lack of understanding. We are unique individuals with different reactions to the same problem. We all grew up under different circumstances and these shaped our values, belief, temperaments, and character. No one person is identical even though we may have similar backgrounds.
Ian's family and I are very different so we grew up with diff mindsets, traditions, practices. These required us to be flexible and to come to understand each other's family background and quirks. :) For eg. Ian tends to correct my English a lot. It is frust for me and a bit embarrassing. But i appreciate he means well, plus his parents were both teachers. Ian's grown up understanding grammar rules and so on like a natural extension of himself. As for me, my Mum and I had a volatile time in my teens and I grew to be really defensive. I tend to, sighs, interrupt people whilst they're talking. I am trying to kick this habit. Thankfully Ian's more understanding now altho' it caused him much more grief when we first started dating.

Take time to understand your spouse. Fan the flames of passion by getting to really know them. Be genuine in your approach. Study them like you would your ten year series, as intently as you would study a favourite subject in school. How?

Listen- if you want to know someone better, you must listen to what they're trying to tell you. Don't be the sort that interrupts- like i used to be. Learn to listen more than you speak- Prov 10:14 :p. If your spouse is more of am introvert, like mine is, you need to ask questions and draw them out of their shell to share. See Prov 20:15.

Ask for discernment- The LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding says Prov 2:6. Our differences can cloud our ability to understand the heart and motivations behind our spouse. But God can and will give us the wisdom we need to better love our spouse. It is written that the Holy Spirit teaches us ALL things. Hallelujah! See Prov 24:3, 4.

The more you get to know your dearest one more, be prepared to be amazed by their beauty, strengths and uniqueness. The Kendricks urge us to desire to know your mate better than you do right now. As you study them, your home will be filled with the riches only love and grace can give.

TODAY'S QUOTES-
Prov 3:13, 13:15, 18:15, 10:14, 20:5, 2:6, 24:3-4, 4:7 ; Jude 10.

TODAY'S DARE-

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

TODAY'S REFLECTION-

What did you learn about your spouse that you didn't know before? How could you continue this process of discovery in other ways, at other times? What were some of the moments that made this evening memorable?