Love Dare: Day 11
LOVE CHERISHES
Our spouse is not just an item we procured through saying the marital vows, he/she is an extension of who we are. The problem today is that many couples think otherwise and remain self-focused.
The Kendricks give us 2 scenarios to ponder today -
1. You've sent your car to the workshop because it's been showing up some problems. They have a look at it and tell you that it is going to cost a tooth and a nail to get it fixed and that it might just be easier and cheaper to get a new model and ditch the old one. This sounds like the logical thing to do.
2. You've broken your arm awfully bad- think bone crushing bad- and the doctor has a look. he tells you it can be fixed but the procedure is going to cost much and hurt much at first, plus the healing time is gonna take quite a bit. Will you allow yourself to be treated or are you gonna just let your arm remain broken? You'd do the former won't you? No matter how much it costs you. Why? Because you can't put a price to your arm.
The latter response is similar to the way we should view our marriage - even if it is broken, we don't just let it stay broken. We give our all to make it good again no matter how long or how much effort it takes us. Our spouses aren't cars or some faulty kitchen appliance we can swipe a card and buy a new model to take its place.
We're told that when we get married, we cleave to one another. Now cleave has two meanings. One is the true meaning, one is what the devil would want us to think is the meaning of cleave.
Cleave either means to penetrate, to cling and stick fast onto something OR it can also mean to split apart.
Which definition are you living out today?
When I got married to Ian, I happily added his name to my identity card. We share a home, a bed and the Hubstation remote control (Tivo-like device's remote control). We've been fused together. My friends know if they ask me out, my hubby is part of the deal and vice versa with regards to his friends. =) When Ian comes home with a black face because of some work issues, I feel his disappointment too. And because it is so important to him, it is important to me too. We take communion and pray over the issue together. When he gets a project that he's been longing to secure, we celebrate together, praise together. That's what it means, I feel, to be fused together into one being, one spirit in the marriage.
Of course, Ian too has imperfect moments as do I; But we don't just pack up and leave at the first sign of unrest! He is still very much a part of me and I, a part of him, in all our imperfections. See Ephesians 5:28-29 for a clue. Here it reminds us how we are not two seperate entities, but one in our marriage. The Kendricks put it very simply that when you show love to your significant other, you are showing love to yourself too! The same is applied in reverse, if we try to poison our mate, we end up poisoning ourselves.
I love this oldie where the singer says "Dear Heart, wish you were here to warm this night." He obviously understands that his spouse
is a part of his heart. He calls her his dear heart. We should cherish our other halves this way too!
Is your spouse hurt? Then tend to her wounds lovingly. Show her that you care. Does he have worries? Then be there for him and show him TLC (tender loving care). Bring healing to your spouse, not rub salt into his or her wounds. When they are broken, we must work with Christ to bring wholeness to them.
And it is not just their emotional needs that require our cherishing and caring - their physical bodies too need our respect and love. Do you treat your spouse's body as you would your own? Do you abuse it or do you adore it? Do you treasure it or trample upon it?
Our spouses are priceless gifts to us. I call Ian "B" which is the short form of "Precious Blessing" and that is what he is to me - a very Precious Blessing from God.
Don't let the world influence the way you treat your spouse and treasure your relationship.
I know of some people who leave a relationship because it isn't perfect in search for another relationship that is more perfect. Unless they are going to admit that neither them nor their partners are gonna be 100% perfect, that search is never going to end. The problem is not our partners. The problem is the attitude with which we entered into the relationship in the first place and it affects the way we treat that relationship after marriage.
I feel so sick of hearing my peers tell me "It's different in our parent's time or grandparent's time. Relationships were different then." How so?? In those days it was also about 2 completely different people investing their lives in each other. And what was even more admirable was how sometimes they didn't even know each other. Today, we get to choose who we marry - but perhaps having too many choices have spoilt us. Besides choosing who we get to marry, there are also options like seperations, divorce to opt in to when the going gets tough.
The first thing you need to do to show your spouse that they really mean something to you is to take those negative options out of your dictionary, and instead honour the commitment you've both made to each other. It is a covenant sealed in Christ. Don't compare it to a worthless BMW convertible, your marital relationship is PRICELESS in relation to it.
Don't "amputate" your spouse from your life just because things are not rosy in the natural at this point in time. Nurture him/her, nourish him/her, edify and water him/her with words of love, concern. Cherish that person who has decided to grow old with you and see him/her as part of who you are and then, see yourselves as one in the bond of love with Christ. =) Then, get ready to harvest the fruits of your love for each other.
TODAY'S QUOTES
Ephesians 5:28-29, Mark 10:51
TODAY’S DARE
Our spouse is not just an item we procured through saying the marital vows, he/she is an extension of who we are. The problem today is that many couples think otherwise and remain self-focused.
The Kendricks give us 2 scenarios to ponder today -
1. You've sent your car to the workshop because it's been showing up some problems. They have a look at it and tell you that it is going to cost a tooth and a nail to get it fixed and that it might just be easier and cheaper to get a new model and ditch the old one. This sounds like the logical thing to do.
2. You've broken your arm awfully bad- think bone crushing bad- and the doctor has a look. he tells you it can be fixed but the procedure is going to cost much and hurt much at first, plus the healing time is gonna take quite a bit. Will you allow yourself to be treated or are you gonna just let your arm remain broken? You'd do the former won't you? No matter how much it costs you. Why? Because you can't put a price to your arm.
The latter response is similar to the way we should view our marriage - even if it is broken, we don't just let it stay broken. We give our all to make it good again no matter how long or how much effort it takes us. Our spouses aren't cars or some faulty kitchen appliance we can swipe a card and buy a new model to take its place.
We're told that when we get married, we cleave to one another. Now cleave has two meanings. One is the true meaning, one is what the devil would want us to think is the meaning of cleave.
Cleave either means to penetrate, to cling and stick fast onto something OR it can also mean to split apart.
Which definition are you living out today?
When I got married to Ian, I happily added his name to my identity card. We share a home, a bed and the Hubstation remote control (Tivo-like device's remote control). We've been fused together. My friends know if they ask me out, my hubby is part of the deal and vice versa with regards to his friends. =) When Ian comes home with a black face because of some work issues, I feel his disappointment too. And because it is so important to him, it is important to me too. We take communion and pray over the issue together. When he gets a project that he's been longing to secure, we celebrate together, praise together. That's what it means, I feel, to be fused together into one being, one spirit in the marriage.
Of course, Ian too has imperfect moments as do I; But we don't just pack up and leave at the first sign of unrest! He is still very much a part of me and I, a part of him, in all our imperfections. See Ephesians 5:28-29 for a clue. Here it reminds us how we are not two seperate entities, but one in our marriage. The Kendricks put it very simply that when you show love to your significant other, you are showing love to yourself too! The same is applied in reverse, if we try to poison our mate, we end up poisoning ourselves.
I love this oldie where the singer says "Dear Heart, wish you were here to warm this night." He obviously understands that his spouse
is a part of his heart. He calls her his dear heart. We should cherish our other halves this way too!
Is your spouse hurt? Then tend to her wounds lovingly. Show her that you care. Does he have worries? Then be there for him and show him TLC (tender loving care). Bring healing to your spouse, not rub salt into his or her wounds. When they are broken, we must work with Christ to bring wholeness to them.
And it is not just their emotional needs that require our cherishing and caring - their physical bodies too need our respect and love. Do you treat your spouse's body as you would your own? Do you abuse it or do you adore it? Do you treasure it or trample upon it?
Our spouses are priceless gifts to us. I call Ian "B" which is the short form of "Precious Blessing" and that is what he is to me - a very Precious Blessing from God.
Don't let the world influence the way you treat your spouse and treasure your relationship.
I know of some people who leave a relationship because it isn't perfect in search for another relationship that is more perfect. Unless they are going to admit that neither them nor their partners are gonna be 100% perfect, that search is never going to end. The problem is not our partners. The problem is the attitude with which we entered into the relationship in the first place and it affects the way we treat that relationship after marriage.
I feel so sick of hearing my peers tell me "It's different in our parent's time or grandparent's time. Relationships were different then." How so?? In those days it was also about 2 completely different people investing their lives in each other. And what was even more admirable was how sometimes they didn't even know each other. Today, we get to choose who we marry - but perhaps having too many choices have spoilt us. Besides choosing who we get to marry, there are also options like seperations, divorce to opt in to when the going gets tough.
The first thing you need to do to show your spouse that they really mean something to you is to take those negative options out of your dictionary, and instead honour the commitment you've both made to each other. It is a covenant sealed in Christ. Don't compare it to a worthless BMW convertible, your marital relationship is PRICELESS in relation to it.
Don't "amputate" your spouse from your life just because things are not rosy in the natural at this point in time. Nurture him/her, nourish him/her, edify and water him/her with words of love, concern. Cherish that person who has decided to grow old with you and see him/her as part of who you are and then, see yourselves as one in the bond of love with Christ. =) Then, get ready to harvest the fruits of your love for each other.
TODAY'S QUOTES
Ephesians 5:28-29, Mark 10:51
TODAY’S DARE
What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.
i want to thank u for your inspiring entries....i used to feel the same with my other half..til one day he betrayed me with a stupid and selfish mistake....it hurt me so much cos we used to be so close before...now i leave it to GOD to heal what's broken and sadly the real test to loving someone truly comes when someone u love the most chose to hurt you the most. :(
ReplyDeleteHUGS!!!!!!!!!!!! I believe we are meant to have life and life more abundantly. A broken marriage and relationship is NOT of an abundant life. The devil has come to steal, kill and destroy but he is a DEFEATED foe! So I believe with you that your marriage will overcome this mountain because you are more than an overcomer in Christ Jesus! I believe God will restore the years robbed by the locusts. I speak life and life more abundantly into this marriage and I believe that it is founded upon the unshakeable foundation of Christ Jesus. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry for the late reply! I had not been online for a bit, posting mainly via mms through my mobile phone.
Care to share your name and email to keep in touch? Just PM me on my blog. I have to vet before anything gets posted online so your info will remain private and confidential.
Chin up sister. God is a God of all things possible and a God of restoration. All is well and because you are the righteousness of God in Christ, your life will only continue to get brighter and brighter unto the perfect day. AMEN!