Revolutionary Road - reflections
Kae was at my parent's so after a briliant dinner at Seoul Garden, Ian and I decided to catch a show together, our choice for the evening? Revolutionary Road.
Kate and Leo are brilliant actors, very believable in their roles. But I must say as much as the show was awesome by worldly standards, it was a spiritually and emotionally tormenting watch.
It was basically a show on how a couple's dreams, aspirations, romance and love falls into pieces because of unfulfilled/ "unspoken- but-expected-of-each-other" expectations, bad communication, betrayal and having swept too many pieces under the carpet for too long. =p
It was a great study of the male and female psyche as well.
Kate is that woman who gives up her personal dreams to be one half of a seemingly perfect couple. she is a housewife and mother to 2 beautiful kids (whom we hardly see since the focus was on the couplehood not the family). She seems to have her act together but inside she wants more. There is even a hint of resentment that they'd "sold out" on their youthful aspirations to be like everyone else - have kids, live a compromised life, pay the bills, scrape through the day and have the same-old-same-old happen like Groundhog's Day. Kate's character wants more to life.
Leo is that guy who tries to be that great husband but who feels put down by his wife's emotional outbursts. He doesn't totally get her but he tries. He does what he feels he has to do and be practical. He makes the practical choice when it comes to his career and their lifestyle. When the emotional/sexual part of his marriage crumbles, he turns to a woman in the office - could it be that he feels the housewife wouldn't understand the working man's dillema and needs as much as the secretary he has an affair with? He tries to be supportive of his wife and promises to take her out of the humdrum they bought into, but the pull of a promotion and higher pay is too much to ignore. More so are the things people say about him wanting to let his wife work in Europe (her dream) whilst she lets him rest, have time to figure out what would fulfill his dreams in life and to go for it. He gets affected by the male colleagues who rain on his parade, the boss who strikes fear in his heart that if he misses this chance he will be a loser forever, the neighbour who questions what man will let his wife support him financially...
What I've learned from this show? (Well and from life in general)
Couples should not marry for the sake of marrying (even if the girl is knocked up - self experience talking here).
Get the issues out in the open from the start. Don't assume you can read each other's minds perfectly. No one is perfect and no one's a mind reader.
Take time to talk, to have a meal together alone once in a while, to share your aspirations with each other, your secret hopes and desires. Keeping secrets only causes a chasm to appear and to encourage more lies to build up.
Show each other appreciation everyday- it's the little things like coming home early, helping out with the housework, giving him his space to pursue his own hobby, watching shows together on the telly, doing little gestures to show you care (eg. getting him/her a glass of water, buying him his fav beer and chilling it for him so that he can have a nice cool drink when he comes home to unwind).
Never let one day go by without saying I love you. Don't take each other for granted.
Don't let the day end without resolving the issues troubling the day. After you resolve it, go to bed and wake up, start on a fresh slate. Don't keep score and study history. Let it go.
Respect each other's feelings - say constructive not destructive things. Build each other up, not tear each other down.
Never ever draw the kids into the argument, never argue in front of the kids.
(I will add to the list as i think abt it... tummy growling. Lunch time!! Hubby bought lunch. =D )
Kate and Leo are brilliant actors, very believable in their roles. But I must say as much as the show was awesome by worldly standards, it was a spiritually and emotionally tormenting watch.
It was basically a show on how a couple's dreams, aspirations, romance and love falls into pieces because of unfulfilled/ "unspoken- but-expected-of-each-other" expectations, bad communication, betrayal and having swept too many pieces under the carpet for too long. =p
It was a great study of the male and female psyche as well.
Kate is that woman who gives up her personal dreams to be one half of a seemingly perfect couple. she is a housewife and mother to 2 beautiful kids (whom we hardly see since the focus was on the couplehood not the family). She seems to have her act together but inside she wants more. There is even a hint of resentment that they'd "sold out" on their youthful aspirations to be like everyone else - have kids, live a compromised life, pay the bills, scrape through the day and have the same-old-same-old happen like Groundhog's Day. Kate's character wants more to life.
Leo is that guy who tries to be that great husband but who feels put down by his wife's emotional outbursts. He doesn't totally get her but he tries. He does what he feels he has to do and be practical. He makes the practical choice when it comes to his career and their lifestyle. When the emotional/sexual part of his marriage crumbles, he turns to a woman in the office - could it be that he feels the housewife wouldn't understand the working man's dillema and needs as much as the secretary he has an affair with? He tries to be supportive of his wife and promises to take her out of the humdrum they bought into, but the pull of a promotion and higher pay is too much to ignore. More so are the things people say about him wanting to let his wife work in Europe (her dream) whilst she lets him rest, have time to figure out what would fulfill his dreams in life and to go for it. He gets affected by the male colleagues who rain on his parade, the boss who strikes fear in his heart that if he misses this chance he will be a loser forever, the neighbour who questions what man will let his wife support him financially...
What I've learned from this show? (Well and from life in general)
Couples should not marry for the sake of marrying (even if the girl is knocked up - self experience talking here).
Get the issues out in the open from the start. Don't assume you can read each other's minds perfectly. No one is perfect and no one's a mind reader.
Take time to talk, to have a meal together alone once in a while, to share your aspirations with each other, your secret hopes and desires. Keeping secrets only causes a chasm to appear and to encourage more lies to build up.
Show each other appreciation everyday- it's the little things like coming home early, helping out with the housework, giving him his space to pursue his own hobby, watching shows together on the telly, doing little gestures to show you care (eg. getting him/her a glass of water, buying him his fav beer and chilling it for him so that he can have a nice cool drink when he comes home to unwind).
Never let one day go by without saying I love you. Don't take each other for granted.
Don't let the day end without resolving the issues troubling the day. After you resolve it, go to bed and wake up, start on a fresh slate. Don't keep score and study history. Let it go.
Respect each other's feelings - say constructive not destructive things. Build each other up, not tear each other down.
Never ever draw the kids into the argument, never argue in front of the kids.
(I will add to the list as i think abt it... tummy growling. Lunch time!! Hubby bought lunch. =D )
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