Love Dare: Day 5 Nothing irritates oth

Love Dare: Day 5

(From the Kendriks' book, The Love Dare. I highly recommend you buy it and do the journal reflections in them. It'll be something you can read and reflect upon.)

Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrasing, or irritating. In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips. No one enjoys being around someone rude. Rude behaviour may seem insignificant to the one doing it, but it's unpleasant for the one on the receiving end.

When you love someone, you mindfully behave in a pleasant way around him or her. You are careful to avoid things that cause discomfort or frustrate the other.

True love minds its manners. This attitude tells your spouse that you value them enough to have some self-control around them, and to be good company. This restores honour to your relationship and earns one respect.

Many of us behave one way at home and another amongst our friends or strangers. We can be bad tempered at home but if the doorbell rings we're suddenly all sunshine and smiles. That's not right. We should give our best to the ones we love- even our best attitude. Let love cause you to want to change from the inside if you don't want your marital relationship to suffer any further.

Women tend to be better at certain types of manners than men, though they can be rude in other ways. King Solomon said in the Book of Proverbs that it's better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. BUT men esp need to learn this- it is well with the man who is gracious. (-Ps 112:5) Let that graciousness begin with you. It will cause your spouse to change his/her way of reacting to you, and his/her attitude with time.

People are rude because they're either selfish or ignorant. Kids are born without etiquette and need much guidance to develop good ones. Adults, however, display ignorance on a whole diff level. You know what you should do but can be blind to how you've not done them, or simply be too self-focused to bother. Some people just don't realise how they can be a pain to live with.

Questions to ask yourself- how does my spouse feel about the way i speak or act around them? Does my behaviour affect his/her self-worth and self-esteem? Would my spouse consider me a blessing, an embarrassment or simply condescending?

The Kendriks say in their book - If you think your spouse is the problem, not you, you're probably suffering from a bad case of ignorance , with a secondary condition of selfishness. :-P

Do you want your spouse to stop doing things that bother you? Then you too must stop doing things that bother them. Takes two hands to clap. Will you be thoughtful enough and loving enough to discover and avoid the behaviour that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?

Some guidelines: treat your mate as you'd want to be treated- two wrongs don't make a right; no double standards- be considerate to her/him as you would to friends or strangers; honour your spouse's requests to do or don't do certain things- ask him/her if unsure.

TODAY'S QUOTES-

Prov 27:14, Ecc 10:12

TODAY'S DARE-

Ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that cause him/her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behaviour. This is from their perspective only.

TODAY'S REFLECTION-

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you react upon hearing it? How will you improve in these areas?