Parenting Challenge

This evening my mum wanted to hug Kae, but being in one of his moods, our little friend was not willing to give his granny a hug. She eventually snapped "Don't hug then don't hug. I also don't want."

I later had a talk with him. It was pretty long but I think it was important that I made certain things clear to him.

I told him that I understand that he is frustrated with his gran that she tends to nag and ask a lot of questions (pretty much the way a machine gun fires btw), but that it is because she loves him. She loves him so she wants to find out more about him. Although it seems "lor sor" her aim is to care, not to frustrate. The day that people leave him alone and not talk to him is a sad day, because that is the day no one cares about him anymore.

And I told him about my mum's family background and why she's always had trouble showing love the way my father and I show him - affectionate, open love. She never had known that sort of love we give him. My mum grew up way before it was time for her to grow up, and it has become a habit for her to act the way she does.

So it is important that when she reaches out to show some love, that we reflect love back to her. No matter how frustrated I get with my Mum these days, I always make it a point to tell her I love her. I write emails, I say it verbally... I refuse to be embarrassed to tell her those 3 important words because we never know how long we have to tell those we love that we care. I used to find it hard but in Christ it becomes easier everyday.

I also adviced him that if he finds it hard to love a person, then he should not love from his own efforts. He should love from the love Christ gave him. Jesus Christ loves him no matter how naughty he is and forgives him no matter what he does. Similarly, we need to reflect that love to others- It can be a family member, a friend or even a stranger.

I reminded him that we are all love letters from Jesus to people. What do we want people to come to know about Jesus from their coming in contact with us? Because we are Christians, people derive their impression of the Christian walk and Jesus through their meeting with us.

What do we want my Mum to come to know about Jesus? If we want her to know His love, then we must show her love. Filled with His love, she then can love others - as unconditionally as possible.

If it is hard to love her, then it is not Kaelen or Geri in the flesh who must hug her or love her. It is "Christ in us the hope of glory" that goes to her and hugs her/loves her.

Honouring our parents is something that we should do, and honouring our parents' parents is important too. We don't do it to earn merits but we honour them because Jesus has given us the grace to do just that. We do what is right not because we need to earn grace but because we have access to the grace required to help us do what is right.

Yup so I was pretty longwinded but I needed him to know he had hurt my mother's feelings and that it was not a very nice thing he did. I emphasised that I love him and that I forgive him regardless, and so has Jesus. Gave him lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses before he slept.

Parenting helps me see, appreiate and understand my Abba Father much more. (Ditto with regards to my wonderful parents. Yea we have our occassional differences, but I know they know that I love them, and they know that I know that they love me. =D)