Recognizing What Battles to Fight (Joel Osteen) - Pt 2

Let me ask you- are you still fighting battles that have no spoils? Battles that are taking your time and energy and keeping you from pursuing what’s really important - your God-given goals, God-given dreams? Choose your battles wisely, we only have so much energy. When we get caught up in these things that don’t matter, upset, holding a grudge, pay somebody back, then when the real giant comes along, a real Goliath that is there to push into our divine destiny, we won’t have the focus nor the energy to win that battle.

We have to realise some things don’t matter, Don’t make a big deal out of it.

When I first got married, I’d get so uptight if Victoria did not turn all the lights off when we left. That was my pet peeve and I’d give her my speech again and again and again- “Victoria, you’ve got to be sure you turn all the lights off.”

When I’d come home and all the lights are on, I’d get so uptight and go give her my same speech. She didn’t do it on purpose, we just have different personalities, different strengths. After about 5 years of harping on that… I’m a slow learner y’all… bringing tension into the house, getting uptight,- it finally dawned on me, “Joel this is not a battle worth fighting. If it costs you an extra ten dollars a month in electricity, that is well worth keeping the peace in the home.”

What’s my point? The rewards were not big enough for the heartache it was causing me. It is worth ten dollars to have peace in our homes.

How many battles are you involved in that do not have big enough rewards?

How many arguments are you instigating?

Or how much tension are you bringing in to the home that could be easily avoided with some minor adjustments?

And you may be right, you may be able to win the victory, but a lot of times we win the battle but we come out so battle scarred- we’re beat up, wounded, we’ve said things we know we shouldn’t have, mad at ourselves, brought tension into the house- we’ve won the battle but we are sleeping in the garage. We’ve won the battle but our spouse is not talking to us.

Recognise that battle does not have big enough rewards, you’d have been better off being the bigger person - to overlook it, to let it go for the sake of peace.

I heard somebody say, “A bull dog can whip a skunk any day of the week, but sometimes he realises it is not worth the stink.”

You may be right, you may have all the facts on your side but is it worth the stink? Is it worth the pressure, the tension it’s gonna bring into the home? What are the rewards? It’s not enough to just “Well, I’ve proved that I was right.” You’d be better to let someone else thinking they were right so you can keep peace in your home.

I’ve found that it is easy to start a fight but hard to end a fight, it’s easy to start an argument, say things we shouldn’t, but it is hard to stop it. It’s hard to let it go. It’s much better to have never even started it.

That’s what it says in Proverbs 20:3 - Avoiding a fight is a mark of honour.

Do you want God to honour you?

Do you want to enjoy your life?

You need to be a peacemaker. Be the type of person who will avoid an unnecessary fight- a fight that’s not going to produce any good rewards.

Your home needs to be a place of peace. You and your spouse need to be in harmony. You are stronger together than you are apart. Not only that, your children need to see a good example. They’re gonna treat their family the same way they seey ou treating each other. Don’t make a big deal out of the things that are not a big deal, Remember the reason why you fell in love with the person. Focus on their good qualities.

I heard somebody say, “People will leave a marriage… They will leave somebody with 80% of what they need because they’ve found the other 20% in somebody else.”

But what they don’t realise is nobody has it all. And if you leave the 80 to find the 20 that your spouse doesn’t have. You’ll soon realise that other person is lacking in 20% in something else. You’ll still have something to deal with. It’s better to recognise no one person can give me everything that I need. I’m not gonna be frustrated making somebody change something they can’t change, or give me something they don’t have.

And yes, the grass always looks greener on the other side, but remember it still has to be mowed. Just stick with what you have.

I’ve known people who’ve spent years and years trying to win the approval of someone- playing up to them, sacrificing their own identities, their own goals to try to impress a boss, or try to win over one of their critics.

The problem is that person is never going to give them their approval. If we’re gonna live in victory, we have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like us, and not everyone is going to agree with us.

I saw an interesting statistic. It said, “25% of the people you meet won’t like you and never will. 25% won’t like you but could be persuaded to. 25% will like you but could be persuaded not to, and 25% will like you and stand by you no matter what.”

Life gets a lot free-er when we realise that - if that person doesn’t like me, if they don’t want to be my friend, if they don’t want to give me their time of day, no big deal. I’m not gonna get upset. I’m not gonna spend the next 2 years trying to win them over. I realised they are one of the 25% that will never like me. I could compliment them every hour, send them flowers every day, mow their lawn every week, but this old goat… I mean this person, is never going to like me.

Here’s the key - you should not waste your valuable time and energy playing up to them, trying to change their mind, trying to convince them that you’re important… those are distractions. You don’t need their approval to be who God made you to be. You don’t have to have them accept you. If you will let that go and not get involved in battles that don’t matter, then God will not only send you people that accept and approve you, He will send you people that will celebrate you. People that celebrate your talents, celebrate your personality, celebrate your accomplishments.

You won’t have to constantly be trying to prove yourself, walking on eggshells, hoping that you are good enough. You can just relax and be who God made you to be. And they will think you are the greatest thing in the world.

It’s like when I was growing up. My grandmother, in her eyes I could do no wrong. Somebody ate the chocolate chip cookie before dinner, “Who was it?” “Not my darling Joel. It may have been one of his 3 sisters but I know Joel couldn’t have done that.” My sisters used to get so aggravated. They used to say, “Grandmama thinks Joel is a saint.”
I can’t help it but I’d even have favour back then.

That’s the kind of people God wants to bring you - people who are for you, people who believe in you, people who celebrate who you are.

Here’s something important - quit wasting your time trying to win somebody over that’s never gonna be won over. Quit trying to make somebody love you that’s never gonna love you. Quit trying to persuade them to be your friend, when they are never gonna be your friend.

If you have to constantly play up to them, convince them that you are important, convince them into spending time with you, that is a battle that is not worth fighting.

You need to have that attitude - I know I have something great to offer. I am one-of-a-kind, I have a great personality. I have the right looks and I am not gonna live my life trying to make people love, trying to convince them that I am good enough. I’m gonna let that go and trust in God to bring me divine connections- people that will celebrate who I am.

Years ago, there was this couple that I knew. I really wanted to be their friend but they were not that friendly to me. They were cordial, they would say hello, but it seemed like there was always something keeping them from accepting and approving me. I just could not understand that.

I went out of my way to win their approval. I introduced them to friends of mine, in fact one of them led to them starting a business together. You’d think they’d be appreciative and at least be friendly, but still - nothing.

Eventually they got transferred and relocated to another city and I found people to help them move, and even gave them a gift for their new home. But in spite of all I did, they would not give me the time of day. You know on top of them, a couple of years later, I got word that they were talking bad about me. They thought I’d not done enough, not treated them right and here there was nobody in the world that I’d done more for than that couple.

I realise now that they are just one of the 25% that are never gonna like me. I wish I’d known back then that I know now, you don’t have to play up to people, you don’t have to convince them to like you, you don’t have to buy people off. If they don’t wanna be your friend, just have the attitude- Too bad for you. You don’t know what you’re missing out on.

When I quit fighting those battles, that’s when God began bringing people into my life that would celebrate me. It was not long after that that I met Victoria. Even if she does leave the lights on, I’ll still take her. She celebrates me, I celebrate her.

One reason people will never accept us is because they are so insecure. They will never give you a compliment, never let you in their group because they are intimidated, they are threatened by you. The way they express that insecurity is that they push you down so they’ll look bigger. They minimize so they can equalize. They will diminish who you are and what you have to offer, and your accomplishments so they won’t look so small. People like that are never gonna change. That’s a battle not worth fighting.

If you’ll let it go, God will bring people who will add value, not take away. People that will celebrate who you are and be happy when you succeed, not people who will find fault, not people who will get jealous. We should not waste our time in battles that are not win-able.

Some people, no matter what you say or do, are never gonna change their minds. Really. All they want to do is argue, they just like to fight, if they’re not fighting with you, they’ll be fighting with somebody else.

One thing I especially learned is don’t argue the scripture, don’t debate doctrine.

Right after I started ministering, this older gentleman came up to me and he was very very serious. He said, “Joel, I need to know what you believe about the second dispensation of the Spirit.” I thought, “Dear God, I must have missed the first one.”

I said, “Sir, I don’t really know all about that.” He said, “Well Joel, I believe this and this and this.” And I said, “You know I think you’re right. I agree with you.” He looked at me kind of puzzled and said, “Yeah but I believe this and this and this.” I said, “I agree exactly.” He looked at me more confused and got a little redder in the face. “Yeah but Joel, I believe this and this and this.”

Here he’d won the argument three times but he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to keep arguing. He was in that fight mode.

Finally, he was halfway convinced that I agreed and he walked away. When he got ten steps from me, I said, “Excuse me sir, I’m not sure if I agree with that one thing.” He turned back around and I said, “I’m just kidding. I’m just playing.” He was ready to fight again.

People like that who always wanna argue- that’s a battle that’s not worth fighting.

Even if you do win over one of your critics, you know what I’ve found, two more are gonna pop up. The best way to answer your critics is not with your words, but with your actions. The best way to answer them is to let them see the fruit of a well-lived life.

A reporter asked Bill Cosby the secret of success. He said, “I don’t know the secret of success, but I do know the secret of failure and that is to please everybody.”

You have to accept that not everybody’s gonna like you, not everybody’s gonna understand you - but that’s okay. Just run your race, be the best that you can be, and God will take care of your critics.

I think about Nehemiah when he was building the walls of Jerusalem, there were 2 men at the bottom of the mountain named Samballat and Tobia- they were his biggest critics. The whole time he was up there working, they were hollering, “Nehemiah come down here and fight with us. You are never gonna finish that wall. You don’t have what it takes.”

But I love that fact that Nehemiah was focused. They were making a lot of noise- threatening him, calling him names- but he recognized there was no benefit to fighting with them, that was not going to accomplish anything. He knew they were simply a distraction.

When God put a dream in your heart, there will always be the Samballats and Tobias-es who’ll be trying to engage you in battles that don’t matter. They may talk a mean talk, say things behind your back, they will try to lure you into strife. But you’ve got to be disciplined enough to know if it’s a battle that’s even worth fighting.

Just like David recognised that Eliab was just a distraction, Nehemiah realised that these 2 men were one as well. You have to evaluate that situation and only get involved in battles that will bring you a prize.

I am sure Nehemiah could have come down off the wall and put a stop to those two men. I am sure he could have defeated them; But Nehemiah understood this principle of not wasting time and energy fighting battles that don’t really matter.

One time in the Old Testament, a prophet was walking down the street when this young man started making fun of him, calling him names and even throwing rocks. He followed him everywhere that he went, just pestering him, trying to pick a fight, trying to aggravate him. Finally, the men with the prophet said, “Do you want us to put a stop to him? Do you want us to shut him up? He is a real pain.” I love how the prophet answered, “No let him keep talking, maybe God will hear him and bless me for it.”

That’s the attitude we must have. When somebody is talking about us, instead of getting upset, trying to defend ourselves, let’s believe that God will hear them and bless us for it. That takes all the pressure off. We don’t have pay people back, we don’t have to get involved in battles that don’t really matter. We know God is our vindicator and He’s gonna bless us because of what they’re saying. That means if somebody is trying to make you look bad- spreading rumours, telling lies- really, they have done you a favour. What they mean for your harm. God is going to use to promote you.

And I know this to be true, because we have never tried to answer our critics. The more they talk, the more God promotes us, the more they talk, the higher we go.

When you’re pursuing your goals and dreams in life, there’s going to be the critics and naysayers telling you “you can’t do it“, threatening you, trying to distract you.

But understand that you don’t have time to come off that wall. You don’t have time to convince your critics. You don’t have time to argue. You have a destiny to fulfil, you have an assignment to accomplish. Those are battles not worth fighting. Learn to ignore the Samballats and Tobias-es, before long like Nehemiah you will complete your wall and your actions will answer your critics.

And some of you today, if you’ll just be a little more focused and not bother with battles that don’t matter, you will see God bring the Goliaths across your path. You will see God bring the battles that bring about greater opportunity to bring you greater promotion. When things don’t go your way, and you’re tempted to get upset, you need to ask yourself - is this a battle worth fighting? Is this between me and my destiny or is this just another distraction to waste my time and energy? If I engage in this conflict is it going to be worth it?

Remember we don’t have to fight battles to prove to people who we are, or to win over critics, or to play up to someone, to get them to like us. Those are all distractions. Just stay focus on the main goals that God has put in your hearts. Learn to not make a big deal out of things that are not a big deal. Let it go for the sake of peace.

If you’ll be disciplined to fight the battles that do matter, you will see God do amazing things, like David you will defeat your giants, like Nehemiah you will complete your walls, that means you will accomplish your goals, overcome your obstacles and you will see God bring every dream, every desire He’s put in your heart- it will come to pass. Amen?

Did you receive it today?

Well we never like to end our broadcast without giving you the opportunity to make Jesus the LORD of your life.

Would you pray with me? Just say -

“Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you my LORD and Saviour.”

Friends if you prayed that simple prayer, we believe that you got born again. Get into a good bible based church. Keep God first place in your life. He will take you places you’d have never dreamed of.

FIN

((Hope you all were blessed by this transcribed sermon. =D I will put more up as I go along. Keep walking with Jesus and checking in. Pardon my typos. ^.^" ))