Writing is a very emotional process.
I have started working on 2 scripts recently - one a feature, one a short. The first was conceived some years back but placed on the backburner because of responsibilities to the family, a fear that it would try to blanket me with sadness, a blanket I had only managed to thrown off in Christ. The latter was conceived recently and that has a silver lining amidst a churning, dark storyline.
Both are deeply character driven stories and though each has itts own tragedy, hopes to have an up side to their endings that will inspire greater thought on making choices in life that aren't bitter, matyr-ish, vengeful or selfish. Of course, these are implied on the subtext if not I might as well become Jack Neo. Lol. Kidding.
As one writes, there is a tendency to dive into the thought process, "history/background" of each character in the story. For me, that is where I need to lean on the Holy Spirit and spend even more Quiet Time and hang out around my edifying friends and loved ones. Emotions and feelings are of the flesh and can sometimes stumble.
Case in point, I have not listened to secular music in a long time and have felt lighter in spirit. =) But recently, to write I started listening to some really beautifully written but haunting songs and well, whilst they do touch the heart, they also cause it to sigh a little more.
In the past, when Ian and I first got together, I remember telling him - "If you want to really know me, watch The Hours." Not sure how many of you guys have watched that show before- it is brilliant by worldly standards, but very very sad.
You see, Geri in the past related to Nicole Kidman's Woolf in the movie; Geri in the past saw herself in Prozac Nation's protagonist; Geri in the past shared Sylvia Plath's love for writing sad prose (a German friend had introduced her to me during my first year in England some 11 years ago - she said we write alike but prior to Mirja's intro, I knew not of Plath)- I shared the same fear Plath had of the Bell Jar.
Praise God that Jesus broke that Bell Jar - how many of us remain lost, depressed because we think that we cannot break free from it. We might not have the strength to lift it up on our own, but we have a Saviour who can and who did on the Cross some 2000 years ago.
I struggled with my inky personality - dark, brooding and sad. It is so ridiculous when I look back at it.
I even once said "Depression is the food of my writing." To which Ian said, "Does that mean you can never be happy since you are a writer?"
His reply provoked some deep, soul searching and I realised my "beliefs" when it came to my personality and writing, were lies upon lies that I subscribed to! =p
I can write even when I am filled with the joy of the LORD these days because I let the Holy Spirit lead instead of the Spirit of Depression. Watching the Hours might help you know what I struggled with, but it won't help anyone know me. If they truly want to know the source of my hope, my love, my passions they just have to look to my Shepherd, Jesus, and to His Living Word that guides me each and every day.
As I embark on finishing projects I started and so want to see completed on the theatre screen, I lean closer, listen harder to the gentle whispers of the Holy Spirit. I want to write not based on the other spirits of this world that can be a noisy, attention seeking lot. I want to write stories that touch the heart but not darken it with stormy thoughts & rain clouds.
Writing is my gift from God but I also allowed it to stumble me for the longest time because I allowed myself to get lost in emotions.
I am keeping these feet planted on solid rock, and this heart close to His Word - so as I write once more, I am passionate but not consumed. =)
Keep me covered with your loving prayers. ^.^
I have started working on 2 scripts recently - one a feature, one a short. The first was conceived some years back but placed on the backburner because of responsibilities to the family, a fear that it would try to blanket me with sadness, a blanket I had only managed to thrown off in Christ. The latter was conceived recently and that has a silver lining amidst a churning, dark storyline.
Both are deeply character driven stories and though each has itts own tragedy, hopes to have an up side to their endings that will inspire greater thought on making choices in life that aren't bitter, matyr-ish, vengeful or selfish. Of course, these are implied on the subtext if not I might as well become Jack Neo. Lol. Kidding.
As one writes, there is a tendency to dive into the thought process, "history/background" of each character in the story. For me, that is where I need to lean on the Holy Spirit and spend even more Quiet Time and hang out around my edifying friends and loved ones. Emotions and feelings are of the flesh and can sometimes stumble.
Case in point, I have not listened to secular music in a long time and have felt lighter in spirit. =) But recently, to write I started listening to some really beautifully written but haunting songs and well, whilst they do touch the heart, they also cause it to sigh a little more.
In the past, when Ian and I first got together, I remember telling him - "If you want to really know me, watch The Hours." Not sure how many of you guys have watched that show before- it is brilliant by worldly standards, but very very sad.
You see, Geri in the past related to Nicole Kidman's Woolf in the movie; Geri in the past saw herself in Prozac Nation's protagonist; Geri in the past shared Sylvia Plath's love for writing sad prose (a German friend had introduced her to me during my first year in England some 11 years ago - she said we write alike but prior to Mirja's intro, I knew not of Plath)- I shared the same fear Plath had of the Bell Jar.
Praise God that Jesus broke that Bell Jar - how many of us remain lost, depressed because we think that we cannot break free from it. We might not have the strength to lift it up on our own, but we have a Saviour who can and who did on the Cross some 2000 years ago.
I struggled with my inky personality - dark, brooding and sad. It is so ridiculous when I look back at it.
I even once said "Depression is the food of my writing." To which Ian said, "Does that mean you can never be happy since you are a writer?"
His reply provoked some deep, soul searching and I realised my "beliefs" when it came to my personality and writing, were lies upon lies that I subscribed to! =p
I can write even when I am filled with the joy of the LORD these days because I let the Holy Spirit lead instead of the Spirit of Depression. Watching the Hours might help you know what I struggled with, but it won't help anyone know me. If they truly want to know the source of my hope, my love, my passions they just have to look to my Shepherd, Jesus, and to His Living Word that guides me each and every day.
As I embark on finishing projects I started and so want to see completed on the theatre screen, I lean closer, listen harder to the gentle whispers of the Holy Spirit. I want to write not based on the other spirits of this world that can be a noisy, attention seeking lot. I want to write stories that touch the heart but not darken it with stormy thoughts & rain clouds.
Writing is my gift from God but I also allowed it to stumble me for the longest time because I allowed myself to get lost in emotions.
I am keeping these feet planted on solid rock, and this heart close to His Word - so as I write once more, I am passionate but not consumed. =)
Keep me covered with your loving prayers. ^.^
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