Beautiful Seed

My friend asked me on MSN -

u tink god will be disappointed in me for not being able to do anything?

His sister seems to still lean toward abortion.

My answer -

Nope. You have done what you could. Now let Him do what He can.

He can bless the broken road your sister walks on. He can love the baby whether she chooses to abort, give the child away or keep the child by her side.

No matter what the decision the girl makes, one thing is for sure.

The same grace we have is also available for her if she would receive it.

Excerpt from an email i sent to a friend... I feel what I said in it sums up my feelings about the situation -

I believe in speaking up for a life that has not the ability to speak for itself and for the truth that I believe to be so.

At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own view about what abortion terminates and whether it is okay - but for me, as a mother and also as a Christian, I see it as a life - that within that foetus is a potential to love and be loved. Maybe having been placed in that situation where I was given a chance to just give in and choose my life over Kae's makes me alert about the deception the devil places in our minds whilst we undergo the process of making a decision.

You know who intervened in my situation? God. I kept telling him no choice, even when He sent me many many people to show me that wasn't true.

So he realised that - just like how hysterical people need to be slapped to snap out of the hysteria and think clearly - he sent me a "wake up your idea" moment in the form of a question -

"If it is your life in question, how would you feel?"

Because that day when I was in the hospital for the pre-abortion check-up, the doctor thought I was in life threatening danger and insisted that I might have to abort and be operated on if it was an ectopic pregnancy.

That turn of events managed to shut out the cacophony of "No choice - you must abort." & "You have a bright future ahead of you and still young - just abort and live life to the fullest." etc... into one clear question - You who want to take a life, what if your life was at stake instead? Now that you are in the place the baby is in - how do you feel?

I understood then the value of life.

Perhaps having given birth and seen the miracle of 9 months appear before my eyes, makes it harder for me to be convinced that abortion is the right alternative in certain scenarios where a person is old enough to take responsibility for a mistake.

If ZZ was 10-15 years old, maybe I'd have a bigger struggle... OR if ZZ's life is in danger if she has the child, then yes again that is a struggle... in certain scenarios like these, then I agree maybe abortion is an option that has to be considered.

God is the One who breathes life into us... yes we made a mistake by having pre-marital sex and based on that free will decision, we became with child. But the child was not mistakenly placed there - we are again given a choice. Regardless of the choice, I feel God can make what is meant to stumble to turn into blessings.

Eg 1. ZZ aborts. Perhaps the grief draws her to know God. She discovers grace n forgiveness and is able to help another get over the hurt.

Eg 2. ZZ gives away the child. She never sees the child again. The child grows up to be a doctor that saves lives and discovers the cure for a disease. That is the potential each life has...

Eg 3 ZZ keeps the child. She might struggle at first. But she learns how to stop pining over material goods and leading a havoc lifestyle. She learns to take responsibilities and actually is a great mum. What she learns helps her help others and helps her be more disciplined in what she does so it also helps her focus on her study and work.

Eg 4 ZZ keeps the child. It is an uphill struggle. But the trials grow a strong bond btw mother and child. The child treasures the mum and grows up to be mature and responsible and caring.

So many possibilities and it hinges on one choice that has to be made...

Kae, all the little kids we see... and even us... started out from a fertilised embryo to a foetus or baby.

A several months old baby terminated inside the body and then passed out is abortion. A several months old baby of the exact same age (down to the month and day of conception) killed outside of the womb is called murder. But what is in the name of the act?

A rose is still a rose. A spade is still a spade. The world throws us a "fact" but we need to discern in the Spirit if it is the truth because only the truth can set us free and the Word of God is the truth we should live our life based on.

When Mary visited Elizabeth, the bible says that the baby or child in her womb leapt for joy. God is clear that it is a child she is carrying.

Scripture confirms scripture. God might not talk about abortion but he talks about a child in the womb as being a life and he talks about the serious nature of taking a life.

In the modern age of Science, it is easy to detach ourselves from what grows within by calling it an embryo or foetus but not a baby.

But that is the danger of worldly logic and facts - it makes it easy for us to buy in to the deception set to trap us. When we can buy into one lie, it opens the door to make it easy to accept another lie and another.

A friend's friend, S, was told by her doctor to abort because her baby inside of her for sure has very severe down syndrome. S decided to keep the baby regardless of what the doctor said because of her religious belief (Catholicism). And like it is written in His Word - "His blessings bring with it no sorrow" - The baby came out PERFECTLY NORMAL.

The above is a sobering food for thought imho. How many people abort because the doctor advises them to? What if 3/10 of these were misjudged? How many normal babies were killed as a result of such "medical decisions"?

The other thing that hit me was this - Yes God knows what will transpire in our lives but there is still free will that we have to make.

My view is this :

God sees in this situation you have choice 1,2,3,4,5... he knows if you choose 1, A will happen, if you choose 2, B will happen and so on... and choosing A leads to (i) and choosing B leads to (ii), etc....

He knows what will transpire with each choice you make, but He leaves it up to us to decide what choice to take. He sees the huge picture - like a tree with many many branches. He sees the tree or even the garden... we only see one branch at a time or one leaf at a time.

He is like the author of a Choose Your Own Adventure Book - 'cept whilst characters do die and be doomed in the myriad endings of this book and only a few lead to a good ending... He sent Christ to ensure a happily ever after is available to those who choose it. =) His glory will shine forth no matter the situation.

I think to say 'well I am preg now, I still want to live life so I have the right to abort' is a worldly view... it is a choice that still has grace for the situation, but if we opt for it thinking well there is grace for that decision anyway is dangerous - then I question do we really understand grace?

What is stopping me from doing something else that is wrong by saying ah well there is grace anyway?

To be in grace teaches us to make decisions in line with God's desire and will for us - and what is God's will for us? We just have to look at the empty cross to see the answer - that Christ has redeemed us because God has plans for us. What plans? See Jeremiah 29:11.

Grace was not purchased for cheap. It cost Jesus everything.

Each life was redeemed with his life at the cross.

So what is the value of each life - whether it is that of a baby in a womb or out of the womb does that make a difference? Is it because we can see one but the other one we cannot see so it is okay? Or is it because the world hasn't heard the baby inside laugh yet, shake its butt, giggle and blink with big goo goo eyes yet - so it is okay because it is still a stranger?

I guess my question is how old a baby must be inside before we acknowledge there is value in his/her life?

How can we discriminate between grieving for an aborted child and a miscarried child?

Regardless of whether the child is wanted or unwanted, it had an equal chance to live, to grow, to contribute.

Perhaps Corrinne May put it best in her lyrics for "Beautiful Seed"



There is hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed...

Every hope, every power lies in the heart of a seed that flowers
Intertwined all across the land
We're all seeds in the maker's hand

We are all seeds and seeds planted grow in to trees and trees bear fruit and each fruit contains many seeds and each seed can become a tree.

My view, and this is my view, is if I choose to abort, I would have destroyed a seed and thus stopped it from growing into a tree and thus stop it from bearing fruit or attaining its potential that could touch other lives (or create other lives).

Metaphorical but I hope it brings across my feelings.

Imagine if Mary decided she did not want to be a single mum.

( I am sure Jesus would still come to this Earth... but it is a sobering thought isn't it? Grace might have come later as a result of her decision then or...? What if only lah. Not being irreverant or anything.)

What if she felt she was too young and not ready?

At 20 I wasn't sure I was ready either...

And at 22 when Kae came, I still felt I wasn't ready.

Motherhood is a lesson in progress...

Even at 28 I am still learning. =) Will I be ready for when Kae hits his teens? Or when he starts dating? Or when he goes for NS? Or when he announces he is ready to get married?

All I can do is rest in the LORD and trust the Holy Spirit to teach me all the things I need to know in my heart to be a mother after His own heart - imperfect in character, but still able parenting from grace thanks to Christ Jesus.

Just to let your know how Christ has done what He could to give her an environment to make the best decision she can at her level of faith & how our intercessory prayers have helped -

1) His mum, whom we all thought might go ballistic, was very calm when the news was revealed. It was really answered prayers.

2) When his mum took his sister to Kwan Yin temple to cast lots to find out what to do, we prayed that the angels would encamp around them and intervene in the lots being cast to protect the baby. My friend was at first not sure if he should go with them but decided to in the end. The first lot they cast was for the marriage - and it was a bad lot. My friend said it was not just about her and that guy... the lot was about her whole life! (We reject what the lot says in Christ!)

Then, his mum and sis were going to go. My friend quickly stopped them. He asked his mum why he had not cast lots (qiu qian) for the baby. The mum said marriage forecast bad so why cast lots for the baby? My friend kept insisting and she finally relented. So they went back in. It took them 6 tries to get the answer from the lots and the lot they drew was a very very good lot (shang shang qian) - Praise God!

The temple person who encrypts what the lot says asked them what was the lot drawn for as it is an exceptionally good lot. His mum told the lady and the lady told them, very seriously, that if they keep the baby, the baby can potentially bless their lives and that in the future, his sister will meet a benefactor who can make a difference in their lives. My friend said it was close to what happened in my case.

What the temple lady said impacted his mum and she stopped pushing hard for abortion. They are leaving his sis to make the decision altho' his mum blames him for making her cast lots for the baby as she feels it "complicated matters" further. Basically now the girl knows whatever decision she makes, there will be support for it.

She still has free will but at least we know now that there is a more neutral environment. I hope that influences her to make the decision to bring the child into this world - to keep or to give away can be made over the months.

She messaged me last night and said she would have an answer for us soon she hopes.

My reply was to tell her she does not owe her parents, her bro, her sis or me (??) an answer... but she should come to one that she can live with and one that is made with the heart, not the head... made with love.

The ball is in her court but let us still pray over the situation.